I am getting a new MediPort today, on the left side of my chest, because my previous port was on the right side, before it was removed last month during my blood infection.
I actually prefer my PICC line but I am hoping that I won’t need daily hydration IVs. The port will leave a bump in my chest, and if I could not have the needle access all the time, it would be less bulky and painful. I could maybe even have somewhat of a normal summer if my symptoms stay away. I keep campaigning to end the IV fluids.
Right after a pep talk I gave myself yesterday to embark on a new life, I promptly fell down the stairs while wrestling with some bags. (I have been staying away from my apartment for most of his packing.) It happened in extreme slow motion, so I miraculously didn’t break anything. I ended up with scraped up legs and knees and a twisted ankle as I sat dazed on the steps that smell of urine. (It’s urine season.) I hope they can fix my ankle while I am out for this procedure.
On a more serious note, I feel really bad when I have to come in for procedures. I feel so abandoned and alone, even though he wasn’t always here. I cry the whole time the nurses ask me questions. It’s so silly. It will get better. There is something so lonely about having this stuff done now.
I am looking forward to hopefully a summer of more normalcy and fewer infections. In the meantime, I am going to watch this in depth discussion of Gigi Hadid and Zayne and the Lee family and ponder how you get a gig commenting on celebrity gossip.
