It looks like my fears might be coming true: The embolization didn’t do much to alleviate the symptoms and diarrhea. I was hopeful through the morning, but by late afternoon, my guts were again roiling. The doctors say that sometimes there’s an adjustment period, but they had also said that results tend to happen fairly quickly after the ablation. If there is good news, it’s that I’m not feeling much of the post-embolization syndrome.
I feel silly for hoping I would get a little bit better. I’m too disappointed for words or even to feel anything. I suppose there’s still a chance that maybe it will improve a little bit, but it’s not very likely. Even if it does, it might just buy me another year or a small window of time. The PRRT is still an option to try to control the pancreatic tumors, but it is not yet available, nor is it a guarantee it will work for me.
I think it’s time to be more realistic about my expectations of the rest of my life. I think the return to normalcy that I’d hoped for isn’t going to ever happen.
I’m too sad to talk about anything right now, so I might be a little quiet. I’m going to read or watch TV or read some celebrity gossip and shut down for a little bit, but I’m still here and just taking a little time.