After my New York Times column in the Disability section, “Dating While Dying,” I got a few requests for interviews. One was from healthy living expert Dr. Pamela Peeke, a name I’m familiar with from my women’s magazine editor days. Dr. Peeke hosts the popular HER podcast on the RadioMD network. I talked to her about life, death, fear, relationships, and how online dating is more daunting than terminal cancer at times.
One thing that struck me as I listened to the podcast was how many people reached out to me via Twitter and email in response to the column. I haven’t even had time to write back. However, I hope that I inspired people to get out there and stop being afraid to do things, particularly after a cancer diagnosis. I know it often seems like after cancer, you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. It might. It might not.
Also, dating is terrible. Fear of rejection is the worst. If I hadn’t gone into it as a fun extracurricular hobby, I don’t think I could have done it. Dating with a disease or disability is hard, but after I realized it kept me in a bad relationship, I realize my fear kept me from being free and happy. Before I had cancer, I didn’t think I was pretty enough or thin enough or cool enough. My nose is funny-looking. There’s always going to be something.
Dating is one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. If I didn’t have my dating app sherpa to share what he calls his “best practices” and to commiserate, I don’t know that I could have done it. He made it fun. And I found love, of all places, on Tinder. That’s crazy.
Please check out the Dating While Dying episode, and if you listen to it as an Apple podcast, don’t forget to rate and review the show. My headshots are old, so I just submitted a recent photo for the HER page. It’s me in a pool during a recent staycation. You know what they say: Dress for the job you want, not the one you have. Happy listening!